If you, like me, are a wanderer adrift in the commerical world without map, compass, or clue; it is likely that you too have had to engage in temporary employment in order to keep roof over head and food in mouth.  You will have discovered that this work is, at best, not too bad; and, at worst, soul-destroyingly monotonous.  Here, then, are a few tips to help stop your brain dribbling out your ears:-

 - Prepare a little kit to take with you to all jobs.  It should include your timesheet (vital), a nice tea mug (you'd be surprised how many establishments expect their employees to get by with horrid plastic cups), some good tea/coffee/beverage of choice (so as to avoid Nescaf and PJ Tips), Berocca or similar stimulant, your mobile phone, lip balm, and hand cream.  You will be glad to have all these things, believe me.

 - Perfect the art of loo breaks.  Take many more than you need, and use this time to discover all the different toilets in the building.  Give them mental marks out of ten for comfort, cleanliness, and quality of loo roll.  While away the time sitting on the bog by practising origami with toilet paper.  Leave delicate paper cranes etc on the windowsill or similar handy surface as mute testament to the depths of procrastinatory boredom to which this job has driven you.  No one will notice except God.

 - For your sanity's sake, get out at lunchtime.  Go for a walk.  Get some fresh air, feed some ducks/pigeons/homeless people, so some window shopping, whistle loudly, call a friend for a chat.  Then go and sit somewhere with a good book while you eat your lunch.  You'll feel a lot better in the afternoon.

 - Enquire as to the company's environmental policy.  Explain that you are a committed conservationist, and cannot reconcile it with your conscience to put paper in a bin which is not destined for a recycling facility.  Offer to draw up an Environmental Strategy for the company, if they do not have one already.  This offer will be ignored.  One of the benefits of being a temp is that you are completely invisible.

 - If you can, listen to music.  If you can't, use the part of your brain which isn't occupied with the task of filing/envelope stuffing/copy typing to imaginatively recreate the experience of music in your head.  This activity can often be pleasantly challenging, and rewarding.

 - Read the internet.  Parts of it are quite entertaining.  Be careful about firewalls, though, and avoid sites which are obviously offensive.  Do bear in mind, however, that companies are more dependant on employees believing their internet usage is being monitored, than on actually punishing those who check their hotmail during work hours.  This plus the fact that you are only there for a few days gives you effective immunity.  Surf at will!

 - Bear in mind that filling out your timesheet is an art, not a science.  The times you actually arrived at and left the building are irrelevant, especially considering the percentage of your time you put into actually working.  Consider carefully the psychological profile of ONLY the person who will be signing your timesheet.  With any luck, this will be someone senior who has barely even registered your existence, let alone noticed how much filing you got through.  Work out how much you can get away with (it has to be believable, remember), and add away.  If they're rich enough to afford temps, they're certainly rich enough to pay you for 5 more hours than you were actually present.  Use the money to fund phone calls to potential employers.  Stick it to the man!

 - Get educated.  You'd be surprised at the amount of free online courses out there.  Pick a subject you know nothing about, and become an expert in just a few short hours!  All that separates you from a completely bogus Beekeeping qualification is an effort of will.  Reach for the stars!

But first and foremost, you should concentrate on

 - APPLYING FOR A BETTER JOB.  Find jobsearch websites, recruitment companies' websites, and the vacancies pages of companies you think you'd like to work for.  Read them carefully.  Polish your CV until it twinkles with irresistible professionalism and send it out to all and sundry.  Write one stock covering letter, and amend it for each application you send out.  Create accounts with online jobseeker websites and check every day for new vacancies.  If you find something you're passionate about, ring them as well as emailing your CV.  Enthusiasm creates a positive impression.  (NB: You may wish to leave the room and ring them on their mobile.  Blatantly applying for new jobs whilst using the company phone may be pushing your luck just that little bit too far.)

But perhaps most importantly of all, don't give up.  Don't let yourself sink into an apathetic, depressive boredom; at least outside of working hours.  You are worth more than this, and the right job for you is out there somewhere.  Take that nice mug and beekeeping certificate and keep on hunting.  Eventually, everything is going to be ok.

I had such a lovely day today that I just thought I'd write a little something about it.

I woke up in a hostel in Geneva, which made sense, because that's where I'd gone to sleep.  I checked out and wandered on up to the New Zealand Embassy and voted (I hope all you kiwis out there are planning to do so too!), then back down to the hostel to get my stuff.  After a quick detour to buy yet more chocolate (to share! I promise!), I got myself to the train station and hopped aboard the TGV bound for Avignon.

After a couple of minor mishaps (having bought a ticket for the wrong town, sitting in the wrong carriage etc - all par for the course really), I was in Avignon.  Bizarrely, there is a separate train station for the TGV (special French fast trains), so I first had to get a bus into town before getting another out to Villeneuve to the YMCA.  I was going to stay at the hostel on Ile Barthasse, but the tourist info lady warned me that, as it is on a low island in the middle of the Rhone river and they've just experienced heavy rain, this wasn't the best bet.

The YMCA turned out to be an excellent choice for one very simple reason - they have a swimming pool!  Having lugged all my stuff from Switzerland to France, I was pretty hot and bothered by the late afternoon, so I made a beeline straight for my togs.  Jumping into the pool for the first time was one of the most perfect sensations I have ever experienced.  Something about the temperature and feel of the water, the azure blue sky, the low (but still hot) sun, the music from someone's radio....all I needed was a crate of beer and half a dozen mates and it would have been heaven.

As it was, I was of course by myself.  So, after I had swum my fill, I decided to dress myself up and take myself out into the balmy French twilight for dinner.  The walk out to Avignon proper is charming - over two bridges, approaching the old town with views of the town wall and the Palais des Popes.  I mosied around for a bit, checking out different restaurants, until I came across one of those places people in travel journals write about, saying things like "and then we stumbled across and charming little out-of-the-way-place, blah blah, fantastic food, blah, wonderful atmosphere, blah, will definitely come back here specially in 20 years' time, blah".  I don't know about you, but I never really believed those places existed.  But yes, they do.

I had snails for starters (incredibly tasty), then something for a main which I picked on the basis that I understood none of the french words on the menu.  It turned out to be white fish cooked by some sort of Fish God in a divine sauce with perfect rice.  I was so taken aback by its excellence that I ate it far too fast, afraid it would evaporate like fairy gold from my plate.  Oh man it was good.  Then, to complete the Frenchness of it all, I had the creme brulée for dessert.  (Oh, and un petit pichet de vin rosé...also good!)

And then I took myself for a romantic moonlit walk back across the bridge, complete with view of the Pont du Avignon lit up in the night.  The atmosphere was only slightly spoiled by the traffic noises of mental French drivers.  I think their driving license test must go something like this (in French, though):

EXAMINER: Do other road users make you choleric with anger?
NEW DRIVER:  Yes!
EXAMINER:  Do you view each journey as a personal challenge?
NEW DRIVER: Yes!
EXAMINER:  Congratulations!  You have passed.  Here's your license.  Be sure to drive as fast as possible at all times.
NEW DRIVER:  Hot damn!

Had better be off now, as my internet hour is up. 

Today I had another in a series of very random days.  Having had a Candian Bear Experience in Switzerland, and seen an American movie interrupted by an intermission in Bern, I spent this morning with a German pilgrim in Lausanne.  You never can tell what the day will hold!

I woke up in beautiful Strasbourg today and had a French breakfast involving croissants and cheese.  Yummy.  Discovered there were no beds at the (excellent) hostel for that night, so decided to go to Switzerland.  Wandered around Strasbourg for a while and decided to see the wonders of the astrological clock at the cathedral, which apparently performed every day at twelve thirty.  Paid one euro for the priviledge of being squished in with dozens of mostly aged tourists, and watching some things move on a big clock.  At one point a fake cockerel crowed three times.  Odd.  Could not work out the oddest thing until realised clock was striking twelve at half past.  Hmm.

Mosied back to hostel after a leisurely lunch, only to discover that I had ten minutes to get to the train station, buy a ticket, and get on the correct train.  Eek - managed it in flamboyant style, with zero seconds to spare, hoorah+ (cannot find exclamation marks on this weird swiss kb).  Train to Bern via Basel.  Had passport stamped and found way to hostel, which is nice.  Walked through what was either a conference of roller bladers, or an entirely spontaneous confluence of highly mobile Swiss people who all happened to want to pass the time of day in this one square.

I like Swiss money, it is very colourful and pretty.  Bern is situated in the curve of a huge, greenish river far below the city.  V picturesque.  tomorrow am going for tour of cheese factory, chocolate factory and castle, yay4

Versailles is a really lovely town.  Small and relaxed.  And of course there's this chateau thing....fairly impressive I guess.  Last night we went out and did The French Thing of sitting outdoors at a restaurant and having a wonderful dinner which lasted for hours.  I had a pork salad and then a lamb crumble, which was one of the most delicious things I have ever eaten.

Outside the Hotel de Ville en Versailles (on which the legend Liberte - Egalite - Fraternite is proudly emblazoned), you can often see some firemen, just sort of....lounging.  They're only there in the evening, and they never look like they are keeping guard or manning the phones or doing anything remotely useful.  I have deduced, therefore, that their daily schedule goes something like this:

0000-0900: make lurve to a succession of belles femmes francaises, and/or sleep.
0900-1000: le petit dejeuner, consisting of espresso and a croissant, eaten outside a cafe while wearing a blue&white striped top and a beret.  and some trousers, i guess.
1000-1400: sit in a succession of cafes with friends, discussing various topics passionately, with much gesticulation and ejaculations of "zut alors!", accompanied by either coffee or wine, depending on personal preference and/or level of alcoholism.
1400-1600: lunch. this should be consumed at a local french brasserie (none of this foreign muck!), and should consist of several courses and multiple carafes of different kinds of wine.
1600-1830: repair home to make self beautiful for main Pose of the day.
1830-0000: lounge frenchly outside the Hotel de Ville, as though posing for a group catalogue shot. eye up passing females in a suggestive manner. chatter amongst themselves in french.  have dinner at some point, probably.